My Holiday writing
Kia ora, welcome back to my blog and today I am going to share some of my writing with you. My goal was to improve my orientation by using our senses. I hope you enjoy.
On the first day of the holidays after school I was ready to go home but I was waiting for the bell to ring. Suddenly the bell ring the teachers were still taking said good afternoon I went to my Aunt's house for a my cousins birthday it was fairies and mermaids but I did not have to dress up it was so fun we had unicorn
cupcakes, mermaid cake, jelly, popcorn, fruit and donuts.
I hope you enjoyed my writing Please give me feedback in the comments.
Good morning Aroha,as soon as I started reading your blog I was hooked. I always look forward to reading what people do in the school holidays as it can be such an adventure.You have used some very interesting words like fairies,unicorns and mermaids. It makes me want to read more.Maybe next time you could add some pictures of what the food looks like or go into detail about one of the items so that the reader can get a picture in their head about what it looks like.Keep up using interesting words.
ReplyDeleteHey aroha
ReplyDeleteIts liyah w from wigram primary school.
I like that you added quit a lot of detail
It reminds me of my holidays
Next time you could write a bit more
I wonder why you you put two different fonts
I put two different fonts so then people that read this post know that the writing in the bold and black know that is my writing. Sorry if that confused you a little bit but now you know.
DeleteHi Aroha it's Evelyn I really like how you describer all the food you had at your cousins birthday I also could see that you had made a mistake in your second sentence but out of that your blog post was very good.
ReplyDeleteThank you Evelyn for commenting on my post I will go back and go change it today Thank's I will love it if you comment back.
Delete